Family & Thanksgiving

This year for Thanksgiving I was geographically farther away from actual family than I ever had been.  However my connection in some ways was stronger than ever.  The actual distance apart has actually in some ways caused more intentional, thoughtful interaction than ever.  I spoke with several different family members over the course of the week perhaps as much as if I had been home.   And as family things go, learned of some of the difficulties of my paternal grandmother and the joys of youth of my niece and other life things in between.

With my immediate family Julian and I participated in two different Thanksgiving feasts which had different elements of family from the expatriate community here.  We had the Football Thanksgiving and then the following day the thoughtful, respectful dinner with colleagues--really in some ways an extended family.  Even a prayer was offered prior to eating, probably the most inclusive prayer of every religion or belief ever uttered that I can ever recall.

All of this reminded me of family and friends that I have encountered in all of the variety of experiences (Winter/Roberts Family, Oakland Family, College Friends family, Cleveland Family, Nashville Family, Manhattan, KS and K-State family) and those "family" members who do or have offered support, challenge, love, give back, question, instill thought... ultimately individuals who work to get to know you as an individual and learn about your other "family" members and the layers of your life.   I appreciate those individuals despite the distance and appreciate those family members close to me who continue to question, support, challenge, instill thought and love.

Time flies

It has been quite some time since my last writing.  Life has been a whirlwind in the past few months.  In April I was getting ready for big exciting changes ahead while making plans for my life.  Now at the end of September life has had its ups and downs, good times and bad, good moments, and nervous moments, but all in all things are good.
Work and the experience here in Doha presents daily challenges and I try often to figure out the best way to cope in a culture that values things slightly differently than I am used to.  I had a conversation with a colleague who is fairly new to Doha who asked when do things begin to feel like normal.  I had to respond that I wasn't sure, but things after some time feel MORE normal than say a few weeks after I had arrived. 

Some of the challenges: 

Speeding cars, near traffic accidents, long conversations due to language barriers, exhaustion from work, daily naps, sunshine, sand, stares towards you, slow decisions, chain of command decisions, conflict, confusion and even chaos.

I also have positive interactions like:

Shared experiences with expats, Qataris, and co-workers; friendly hellos; sunshine, pool time, generosity from the unexpected; and of course a love that should have been realized many many years ago and now finally is. 

Think Positive

Truly committing to fears, tears, pain, chaos and joy, fun, living, and love.



Through living you experience and in doing so go through experiences that you certainly never counted on, but went through nonetheless.


Someone once remarked that I was not afraid of failing. I took this remark quite highly. If someone had met me 25 years ago I am sure they would not have viewed that awkward braces and glasses wearing 13 year old girl as someone who wouldn’t be afraid to fail…wouldn’t be afraid to try to play basketball of which I had virtually no skill, not afraid to try to go to college, not afraid to move away from family and friends, not afraid to move to other states, not afraid to enter into a relationship some may view as difficult, not afraid to take on personal and professional challenges, not afraid to encourage others, not afraid to move again and again, not afraid to go through a difficult time in my life, not afraid to visit the other side of the world, not afraid to MOVE to the other side of the world, not afraid to work with a lot of men, not afraid to work on a relationship after meeting 19 years prior, and not afraid to fully give myself to someone else, but mostly not afraid to learn.


Sometimes it is through difficult times that we truly gain the most. I know that if I hadn’t experienced pain I might not have grown. My dad used to say “no pain no gain” and it couldn’t be more true. At the same time my mom often said “you gotta think positive” which was even more helpful. Because while you can go through rough things you could very easily take a negative spin on it, however if you look at the pain in a positive way it can bring about results that you had only dreamed of and never truly thought possible.

Who?

It has been a little bit of time since I last wrote in this blog, I suppose I have been a little bit preoccupied.   Is it possible that when you are living life that you don’t always fully experience it?   I have heard advice and quotes such as living life to its fullest, taking advantage of things etc.  While this is all true and important, it matters more about the Who that you are experiencing it with.  Again those relationships are so important.   Recall your friends, family members and colleagues and the joy and sometimes pain that you encounter through shared experiences.  It is the Who and not necessarily the What.  Two months ago while I was exploring and investigating Doha I was experiencing things but not always fully enjoying it.  Because of a decision to visit an important Who in my life, I seem to be enjoying those little things even more than before.   In fact, maybe not quite this fully in over 15 years.  I can’t say why exactly except that it works and excited for those things that lie ahead.

Relationships

It is interesting how things can come together when you are not planning or expecting things. Like when you get a gift of comfort from an employee (and now friend) who is thankful for the work you do, a friendly hello from someone you see on a daily basis, an invite to share a beer with a colleague or time well spent with someone you care for. Things matter and people certainly do matter. I have spoken with students and countless others about the impact of the book “Three Cups of Tea” that I read well over a year ago now and the message was about the importance of relationships. And in thinking back to previous work or friendships you tend not to recall the work that you did but instead what sort of relationship you had that developed with an individual. Sometimes these relationships can be short-lived and necessary in the moment and other times they are long in the making and no matter what, your relationship remains intact and likely to become deeper and more valued as time goes on.

So what’s it like?

I have had various questions from folks about things I deal with while being here.  First I have been enjoying the sunshine immensely.  It is sunny most days and in fact we had a rainy patch of days in January when I got here and I was sad to see it.  However the sun prevails for the most part but it also means that dust settles on your car a lot too as there seems to often be a gentle breeze a lot of the time and sometimes it can be windy and since there is a lot of sand around—well you get the picture.

It is true that driving here can be somewhat intimidating. There are some very aggressive drivers who speed up behind you without a moments notice so being aware is key.  There are lots of traffic circles versus traffic lights every where.  As someone who likes to drive a car rather assertively I feel as I though I am handling it rather well.  However roads are not always marked well and I did have one day where I got confused due to a road block happening by the police.  I called my coworker frantically, but fortunately my own innate sense of direction (and a map) helped me out. 

I heard a statistic a few days ago that there are over 80 countries represented by people that work within the foundation where I work.  It is very interesting but can obviously also present some challenges at times with firstly all of the different languages being used.  Speaking slowly is important but also lots of good face-to-face communication.  I at times have gotten quite frustrated but feel like with people I see more often it is improving.

I have met a number of folks here and have had the opportunity to begin to get to know folks.  I recently went out to a club here in Doha, which was sort of hidden behind a hotel.  The one thing to note is that while bars and clubs may not be as prevalent as in a large city in the U.S. or U.K. they do exist—people are just subtle about it.  However once you get in side these places it is as if you were in a large city almost anywhere.

Being away can certainly be difficult.  For those that have spent an extended amount of time away from family you can certainly attest to this.  The important thing is that never feel as though you are bothering the person who lives away with an email, facebook message or the like.  People that are away LOVE to get them.  At least I do.  It sustains you really as you manage a life away that helps you feel like you are not several thousand miles away, but you are more like just around the corner.

Independence

As those who know me well, they know that I have an independent streak about me which may come across as surprising to some who may not know me quite as well. If you meet me at first you may think me quiet, reserved or not interested. In truth I am taking things in and if meeting you for the first time trying to figure you out.



So back to me and my independence…I recall the moments in my life that I viewed as exciting… those times when I felt as though I had the wind at my back and the ability to make any decision that I wanted. Sometimes those decisions were difficult and sometimes I may have wished I had taken a different course. However, it is independence that I have truly enjoyed and the ability to make decisions for myself or for others for that matter.


I know that when someone limits my independence or ability to make a choice or assumes I will only feel a certain way, that it truly irritates me and gets under my skin. It is the one thing I truly cannot stand.


So living in a country which in some ways people might feel discourages an independent streak, particularly in women, I have actually found in my professional dealings that most often it is not Middle Eastern, British or Asian men who are questioning a decision. In fact I feel like I am encouraged to make a decision and my authority to do so is not questioned. In many cases I have had individuals comment on my ability to make a choice or have a firm handshake. It is rather American men who I seem to be more challenged and questioned by. Maybe it is because they see independent women all the time and they think nothing of it? Or that some may feel the need to assert their independence more? I do find it interesting that the men from my own country can make me feel less than in some ways while men from other countries or other viewpoints never have. While I encounter difficulties at times of course in navigating things after being here for only 2 months, I seem to battle with American male independence more. Interesting. 

Photos from the Corniche, 25th of February 2011

One Month

One Month


It has been one month since I arrived and it feels much longer that I have been in Qatar, in part as I feel like I have accomplished quite a bit during that time.  During this month I have:


-Gone through my medical testing; been finger printed; had my blood drawn to confirm my blood type; started a new job; been invited to several dinners; met many new faces in Doha; gotten my Residence Permit; obtained my Alcohol License; opened a bank account; got paid; bought things; met new colleagues; established new partnerships; found colleagues I could turn to; started friendships; maintained contact with people who are important to me; blogged a few times; taken and posted pictures; became more interested in what was happening in the Middle East versus who was going to the Super Bowl; learned how to say thank you in Arabic (shukran); volunteered already in the community; while I was volunteering in the community ran into a vendor representing a company I was working with who was also donating to the community; met a student today who had been interested in going to Wayne State University for Medical School and shared that I was from the area; taught students how to plant and garden; began buying things for my apartment; taken a taxi; asked for rides; researched cars to buy; made friends with one of the security guards; made progress in the student center; trained some students; started running; kept walking; provided a listening ear; streamed lots of 80s on line music; found myself interviewed for a radio spot; heard myself on the radio spot (qfradio.qf.org.qa (the connection); met more people; watched BBC for Egypt updates; skyped; emailed; facebook chatted; messaged; and reminded of the friends that I have spread out world wide.

Call

I walked this evening to get a few items from the grocery store across from where I live.  As I did I heard the call come out for the evening prayer.  The "call" for evening prayer comes in Muslim countries at various times of the day to remind those of the Muslim faith to take time out to pray.  As I was walking I could hear simultaneous echoes of a voice with much expression coming over a loud speaker system from various locations from where I was walking.  I occasionally hear it early in the morning around 5am and in the evening as well.  It is something that I have been intrigued by and even found some comfort in.  Maybe because it's something beyond hearing automobiles driving by or maybe I am moved by the fact that it's something people are drawn to.  And also likely because it's something all together different from what I have experienced previously.

Week 2 in Doha

Week 2 in Doha:


My 2nd Week in Doha was up and down.  It started off o.k. but I faced dealing with and learning about some cultural differences and struggled mostly with some technical things that really had nothing to do with people but the organizational structure within which I work.  By Monday or Tuesday I was missing a few folks close to me and really wanting to let off some steam preferably via a beer and was craving Guinness, Pale Ale's or whatever and instead settled for a Caramel Hot Chocolate.  I was consoled in part by a co-worker who has been in Doha for about 4 months or so who explained some of the difficulties and asked if at times did I feel great and then if the world was caving in, and he exactly described how I was feeling!  We shared our experiences coincidentally in a Starbucks in one of the downtown malls where I really felt like I was in some large city in the U.S. so sort of strange.  To top it off clouds and rain abounded which is not my favorite, I am definitely a sun lover.


After that my week got better and had dinner at a colleague's house along with his family where he and his wife have triplets age 2 1/2.  They enjoyed entertaining me for the evening and were hilarious to watch!  I also was fully fed and had a glass or two of wine which is just what I needed!


Thursday at work was quite busy but I finally felt like I was making some connections with some of the operational folks I will be dealing with and made some progress.  I had a busy day, but felt good about it.  The end of the day concluded with a Quiz Night coordinated by a faculty group on campus.  Whereas most of us think of a quiz night at a bar with beer and peanuts this took place in a ballroom, with full skirting and tablecloths, along with a full catered meal and the display actually probably looked better than the food tasted (although it was good).  The questions were pretty academic but our team enjoyed themselves.  (Also the sun reappeared!).


This morning I went with my supervisor, his wife and met a co-worker for breakfast at a place called Rick's, which is essentially an American diner place.  Lots of Americans go and it's usually quite busy.  The nice thing is lots of folks see each other with good conversation to be had.  My supervisor goes almost every weekend and I expect I will make it a regular place to visit as well.  Also they DO serve bacon and sausage (although it's not pork).  So at least you are getting a hint of it.


I also got my residency permit Thursday so I will be able to travel to some places when I am ready and then can also process some other things as needed too!  Otherwise despite some understandable difficulties, I feel pretty good.  

Warm

Beautiful
Warm breezes
Encouragement

My first week in Doha, Qatar

My first week:

So I have been in Doha, Qatar now for one week and really it has gone by very quickly.  I have met an interesting mix of Americans, Brits and then Qatari residents along with a few others along the way.  I have not had the opportunity to become bored at all as there has been some dinner or social related thing almost every evening I have been here.  My Qatar Foundation colleagues have been great about offering lunch or dinner opportunities.  I have met some individuals too who are outside of my work area.  Living within the Education City Housing Complex feels very comfortable and have already received many notices of things happening.  My actual living accommodations are nice and it’s such a change of pace to not have to worry about being responsible for certain things for my home (although in the back of my mind my house in Kansas is still on my mind). 

This first week there have been some HR paperwork related things along with things I needed to take care of related to getting my residency permit.  It’s slightly cumbersome and confusing, but have gotten through most of it and accomplished a lot on Wednesday. The only somewhat strange thing that I had to do was to have a few medical tests done which everyone is required to do.  There were many individuals who were being shuffled through the process and it was almost “cattle” like in a way.  Everyone had to take a number and then it wasn’t really quite clear where you needed to go.  There were about ten women though who were affiliated with the Education City Campus so we all sort of hung together through the process. I bonded with some of the other professional women during this testing and in fact met one woman from London and another from Greece who I exchanged phone numbers with.  I also met a guy from Egypt on the bus ride over via the guy I started off my first day with in my meeting with HR who is from San Diego. 

The only downfall of the week has been a cold that I have not yet been able to shake which I acquired just before I left from Michigan.  So last night, I actually elected to remain in my apartment even though there was a chili cook-off going on (which was a difficult choice as I love chili).  I watched a movie, ate some soup and slept!

I really feel pretty comfortable here all in all.  In fact one morning I looked out my kitchen window and felt happy and content with the view from which I was looking.